


Too late

by Czytling



Series: Akkarin & Lorlen [1]
Category: Black Magician Trilogy - Trudi Canavan
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 12:44:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20675597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Czytling/pseuds/Czytling
Summary: Have you ever wondered what were Akkarin's thoughts on reading Lorlen's mind against his will?





	Too late

**Author's Note:**

> A short one shot, because there are too few works in this fandom.
> 
> English is not my first language, it you see any mistakes, please tell me, so that I correct them.
> 
> Have fun reading!

It should not have happened like that. In fact, it should not have happened at all. He worked so hard to keep the truth from his best friend, to protect him. How did it even fail so spectacularly? A small slum girl saw him practicing black magic and showed it to Lorlen during a truth read. She could not have known what she was seeing. Lorlen on the other hand... He must have realised instantly.

Akkarin realised some time earlier that something was wrong in his friendship with Lorlen. Administrator progressively shut him out from different parts of his life, stopped visiting him, talked less to him, did not consult him on most troubles, was always kind of tense around him. And now he knew why. Lorlen had been afraid. He feared his best friend. He believed that the black magician would hurt him.

And he did, didn't he? He pinned the Administrator to his chair and forcibly read his mind. He violated the small ounce of trust Lorlen still had had for him. And oh, how had that realisation hurt. He promised himself he would never use his powers on Lorlen. Yet he did. 

And Lorlen... Lorlen stopped trusting him at all. He saw his gaze, broken, wondering wether Akkarin would kill him to keep him silent. Betrayed. He saw him looking at him while he was preparing the blood ring ghat would let him hear all of the Administrators thooughts. That look, saying i do not know you, who are you? Where has my friend gone? 

Indeed, their friendship is lost. Akkarin could see it oh so clearly when he made the mistake to look into other's mind. Always those same questions. Was their whole friendship an act? Was he evil even then? Is he going to kill the whole Guild if someone annoys him too much? Who is he? And that self-hatred, probably the worst from it all. How I did not see the evil within us? I was his best friend, I should have seen the danger he poses.

Akkarin wished he could tell Lorlen the truth. He wished he could explain, ask for forgiveness, do anything. Anything to stop Lorlen's self doubt and self hatred. Anything to mend their friendship. 

But it was not to be. There were too many lies in the way and far too little trust. If Akkarin told Lorlen his story, the man would not believe him anyway. Slave? Honestly, who would even believe that? And even if he did, he would hate him even more, or worse he would pity him or laugh at him.

No, it is better not to say anything. To protect Lorlen from the knowlegde of Ichani, of possible invasion, of his troubled past. 

Lorlen hated him. It was too late for confessions, anyway.


End file.
